In the past day or two I've thought of several topics I'd like to address and the fact that I had somewhere near 70-ish posts last year and what feels like all of 3 this year really lit a fire under my ass. I mean maybe if I cranked my output to one a day from today until New Year's I could catch up, but not bloody likely. Anyway, I was all set to come home and write about oh I don't know, how I'm so happy that Kanye is self actualizing (I'm laughing at my self for the turn of phrase here), how twitter is the most awesome sauce in the world, how y'know, there's this dude whose writing I love and how I totally got to experience his awesome -- that kinda stuff. I was Speedy Gonzalez-ing to kind of a good end to a semi good (if long) day. I actually got to my first class on time (Prof seemed impressed), I picked up a book I needed to read, finished In the Skin of a Lion with notes, ate a pretty decently healthy lunch, had delicious and pretentiously named coffee, made an interesting observation in my CanLit class, blah blah.
And then somewhere on the way home it all went sideways, I got all tired and cranky. I felt completely out of my skin. Luckily a friend came over with wine and illicit books (illicit because I can't really read them until class breaks for Christmas) and restored some of my humanity.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that everything seems to be winding down. It gets dark really early and my fragile inner ecosystem/equilibrium (I'm being borderline sarcastic here people) is craving massive doses of sunlight and coming up short. The adrenalin high is over now and I'm going through some sort of experiential withdrawal. That's what winter seems to be all about. Man, bears know where it's at.
I think I'm trying to keep a light tone here because I actually feel quite meh about everything right now -- although to be fair it's 3am. I'm about to head to bed with E.M. Forster's Howards End. The reason I'm here though, why I couldn't wait until the sun came up (however feebly) is because I found something extra redeeming about my night.
Whenever I feel really really down in the dumps there's a certain URL I direct myself towards. It doesn't happen too often but it works. I won't tell you what it is, that would give away the surprise. The short of it however, is that somehow I was reminded of a conversation -- which I had conveniently archived (huzzah!) and as I went through it I got an idea for a short story. So I wrote all the dialogue down and I have a pretty good idea of what I want to do with it. I'm going to sneak an hour of poking at it into my plans tomorrow.
I'm tired, but also cautiously chuffed.
