Stay Lit

I've been AWOL. You must forgive me - I've been living this incredible life for the past little while and I'm afraid of waking up and finding that it's all been in my head. Let me give you the reverse chronology of what has been happening, starting with the week I've had. I've been getting better at some things you see - levelling up so to speak, in Mario terms. About a week ago I did something incredibly out of character for me, an aberration. And I don't regret it- not one bit. The week following this has been a wide spectrum of feeling. Immediately thereafter I was feeling peaceful, calm and balanced. As the days passed it became less so and I started becoming that person I always had been - neurotic, cynical. So somewhere between my shower and getting dressed and going to class yesterday I decided to put an end to it. It happened, it was awesome, I wouldn't give it back, it is now out of my hands - so let's throw it all to the wind and say it is what it is and let it go. Regardless of how ridiculously strongly I feel about it. The idea that I can feel this way - that I am capable of it, is freeing.

I'm being intentionally obtuse because I feel a bit bittersweet but you know what? I'm only 25, there will be more of this I'm sure.

The reason I've not been here other than what I said previously is that in some ways this blog was dedicated to me working out my issues with ...well you know...that kid. That's done now. And I do still feel the need to write but - it's easier to write about harrowing adventures and misery than it is about happiness for me. But you know what? I had an adventure with Karis a few weeks ago - and it was awesome. We went to NYC -first time for me, second time for her. And it was a shit-show. Three days spent in Manhattan/Williamsburg and lots of running around. I mastered the subway almost immediately, not afraid to whip out a map whenever I felt like it. We packed a lot of stuff into three short days. Neither of us had gotten any sleep before we left and as Karis was getting ready and I was already waiting in the car complaining about being late for the ferry to the airport her dad asked "so what concert are you going to?" at which point (much like Bart Simpson realizing his permission slip for the awesome field trip was lying under his pillow) realized that my Omar Rodriguez Lopez tickets were sitting inside Pynchon's The Crying of Lot 49 on my incredibly messy desk. And for the first time in 12 years I was glad that Karis had a tiny bit of a tendency to be late.

Stomping around Manhattan was fun after we had dropped our bags off - resting in Central Park and walking around 5th Ave., wondering why there were guys with earpieces walking around, envying the 13 year olds gathered around one of the exits of the park arguing about where they were going to go for a snack and which route they should take. Lucky. After Lego store (at which I picked up gifts for friends and took many pictures and repeatedly squealed with young-boy-ish delight) we decided to get food and head over to the show. The burger joint we stopped at was Bill's Burgers where the poutine was named "Disco Fries" and Karis not so subtly pointed out to Tony (who recommended the place) that as I ordered them I made a very 80's dance move. *facepalm* @ myself. But if I can't laugh at myself I may as well quit trying to live. I won't even try going into how incredibly amazing the Rodriguez Lopez Group concert was. Deantoni Parks is a master, a fucking drum master. I...there are no words. If there's anything close to a religious experience for me - this is it. This was it. This is one of those things in life that is worth trying to hold on to your existence for; this type of moment. Everything just clicks and suddenly life makes sense and everything is perfect.

Don't take my word for it.

I stocked up on Omar shirts and then skipped and sang all the way home on the hipster shuttle (the L train) with Karis and got home and dreamt of Omar and little dancing Cedrics all night (even though Ced wasn't there). Next morning we were going to meet Tony for the first time. Which is funny - because I had bought tickets to the concert first and this was a bonus, but I had realized (and noted to Karis and Karen), that really....I was more excited about this than the Omar thing. It turned out to be awesome. I mean TG's body of work speaks for him as a cool/interesting/stand up guy more so than mine does, but I was really really happy. Still am. We went to this ridiculously awesome little restaurant with fascinating seemingly original fixtures - the kind of place - had I lived in NYC would become my watering hole just because of the amazing light and a truly comfortable feeling. I used to feel that way about Tequila Bookworm before they moved. So we hung out, talked, I feel like we probably could have been there all day. We had to keep moving though because we had such a limited time.

Karis mentioned that there was a concert going on that night at Le Poisson Rouge - and I was somewhat tired and whiny - as I'm apt to be when I don't have enough alone time or time to digest and process everything I had just taken in. So we decided to go see this thing. On our way there we stopped at a cafe to have some sandwiches and beers and we bumped into a lovely young man named James Perkins - I couldn't help but notice he was reading the Fountainhead (which is one of my favourite novels) and we struck up a conversation. He's pretty interesting, into fashion, used to be in finance or something like that, and an outside correspondent for FOX, blah blah. He was very kind and funny and a delight. Gave me his card and told me to keep in touch. I found New Yorkers to be very friendly. So then we schlepped ourselves over to Poisson Rouge - turns out the opening band was Holy Fuck, from Toronto - and I fell in love. I do that a lot. They blew me away - and finally there's a Toronto band that I can feel excited about. (except for You Handsome Devil) They're interesting, dynamic, kinetic, creative, everything. We enjoyed ourselves, got a bit smashed (as it were) and danced up a storm (separately) because I don't like going in the pit area. The music they make - there's a feeling of it traveling through you on a molecular level, like neutrinos through everything, becoming part of you. We made our way home and then the next day we slept in and went to meet up with my friend Emile and Karis's friend Joanna in Greenwich Village. Stopped off and got some comics (om nom nom) and hung out all night long. It was a good end to a really good weekend. Emile was really funny - a sense of humour I could really relate to. And walking around NYC was a lot of fun. We didn't see all of the things I would have loved to see, but I got to visit New York at last and it started out with one incredible reason: seeing my favourite musician, and I left with a lifetime of amazing, happy, wonderful memories.

I think that's it for now.