but how long can you keep it up?

It's been a hell of a week. Don't take that the wrong way. I haven't had time to read the books I told myself I would read, but the alternative option is pretty great at the moment.

My only worry is that the levels of bliss fulminating in my core are going to be destructive to my literary skill. There's a sort of stigma: that writing and creativity are best when they come from a dark and depressed place. It is easier to write when I'm upset than it is when I'm happy. Perhaps because it is my way of coping with everything. I suppose in that respect I should try to make it a habit of writing more when I'm in a good mood or good place in my life. What's hard about that is that it passes by so fast that I just want to sit there and feel it all and shut my brain off to the meandering that happens when I'm morose.

They tell you that when you're in the first stages of romantic bliss your brain pumps out the same types of serotonin/chemicals that you get from certain drugs. They're what keep you infatuated and focused on your partner - more hierarchically speaking - they help forward the genetic imperative. I find this dually fascinating and gross. I like the feeling - I don't know how I feel about where it's leading. Back to my issue though. When I'm morose - I generally feel more witty. I equate cynicism and anger with intelligence and hilarity. Maybe because most of the people I really like and identify with had or have an angry black humour schtick going for them. I have to break this pattern. I think I'll accomplish this by upping my amount of writing here by a significant chunk. I update pretty damn randomly, but I'm sure once school starts I'll be wanting to write more. Perfect.

In regards to what's been happening this past week? Sometimes you just have to jump in head first and deal with consequences later. I got lucky.